|
Hey Vinny,
I
was at a bar the other night, talking to a guy. We had a few drinks
together. His friends and mine both were around somewhere but we ended
up talking most of the night. Though at the end of the night he never
asked for my number. Was he not interested, how come we talked all
night and he didn't ask for it?
- N. O. Number
Dear Ms. Number,
Well let's first lay some ground rules. Did he have a ring on (and by
on I mean on his left-hand’s ring finger)? Did he, at any point, refer
to his "life partner" or maybe refer to his "roommate" a few too many
times, while discussing things he's done? Did he speak about an ex at
all? Did YOU do any of the above? OK, so if you've answered “no” to all
of these things then let's go ahead and take a look at this.
So there is the obvious, he could be in a relationship or have a
serious girlfriend, but that doesn't mean that he didn't have a great
time with you. It may mean you filled his night with something
different than the dating game.
There is also the not so obvious; he might be one of those guys with
"NO GAME". This is very shaky ground. There are three types of this
guy:
- This is the guy who comes up and says "Hey baby, those pants
look good on you, but they'd look better on my floor" or some other
cheesy pick up line . Usually, women decide that a guy like this is lame
and they don't want anything to do with him. Which is MORE than
understandable, but it often puts women on the defense because there
are a LOT of these out there and it makes it hard for the rest of us to
seem worth the time.
- The guy who tries, and just
can't get it right. He may walk up to you at the last moment right
before another guy (with game) does and of course the other will
prevail. He may also try to buy you a drink but as he walks back from
getting your Red Devil he trips on some one’s shoe and spills quite a
bit of it all over your new dress. Now this guy isn't bad, or a guy
that you don't want to know, but he's the type of guy that will be
"friends" with more girls than he ever gets to kiss.
- Then,
there is one more. There is the case that I think we may be dealing
with here. He’s funny, smart, talented, and can have you laughing be it
in a conversation or alone. He walks smooth and knows his way around a
woman. Though, something isn't there. Usually it's his self-esteem.
This
 guy is a rare catch. He is, on the surface, like any other guy,
but doesn't have the same kind of cocky attitude that most men seem to
carry around these days. Very rarely will you see him with a popped
collar, or even a Brooklyn blow out. There are a few reasons he may be
this way, though, usually it just boils down to this: he might not
exude the confidence to ask a woman for her number. This might be the
guy that was in a 8 year relationship while all his "boys" were
perfecting the art of picking up a woman. Hence, he’s been finding
women in “safe” situations: office parties, within his circle of
friends, or by plain ol’ dumb luck. This guy will often look like he's
not interested at first, but while you walk away asking yourself why he
didn't ask your number, he's watching you walk away, thinking of clever
lines to ask for it, but just doesn't have the self-esteem to get it
done.
So, what can you do now? Well there's always the “Missed Connections”
section of craigslist. There are also the social networks like Myspace,
and Facebook where you might be able to find him with enough
information and some determination. Then there are the more realistic
ideas; You can go to the bar again, or think back to your conversation
with him, perhaps he gave you some clue as to who he is, where he works
or what he might be doing this weekend. Though, heading back to the bar
might be your best bet. Look around for someone who was with him that
night. Though it might be left to fate and a little bit of destiny, you
could run into each other again.
I think the main lesson here would be if you are interested in him,
go for it! We live in a time where women can work next to men at ANY
job, they can raise a family alone, they can run a fortune 500
business, they can run for president, they can essentially do anything
a man can do. So why not just go for it, of course if you don't want to
seem too pushy you can always help him out. Try throwing on your cutest
smile and just ask him ,"So, how come you haven't asked for my number
yet?" and remember if you're nervous about doing that, he's probably
just as nervous about asking for it. So help the poor guy out and give
him a nudge!
###
If you'd like to get Vinny's advice on a situation you or a friend are going through, use the comment field below.
 Quote this article on your site
|
