When attending an S&M party where alcohol is sold, make sure to moderate the amount of alcohol you consume. One of the foremost rules of BDSM is to always be safe, sane and consensual. Alcohol can obviously make some individuals careless, and it is important to keep your safety and the safety of others at heart. For example, if you are a submissive and you are into a degree of pain, you might partake in a flogging at an S&M event. If you have had too much to drink, you might not be able to realize it is time to give your Dominant the safety word. Just the opposite applies as well... if you are a Dominant who has had too much to drink, you can severely injure your submissive when engaging in fetish play. If you've had too much to drink, have a friend escort you home. Illegal or prescription drugs should never be used when engaging in S&M play or attending a scene party.
Make sure to be polite at all times. Don't interrupt people or couples who are engaging in S&M play. Unless it is an interactive stage show, many individuals might take offense to an interruption of any kind, whether it be questions, comments, or vulgar statements regarding the type of play taking place. Simply wait until their "scene" is over before approaching. A public scene is an invitation to watch, not to join in or volunteer. Also, it is wise to ask the Dominant for permission to speak with the submissive in order to establish possible "ownership" or lack thereof. Respect the space the event is held in, and definitely respect all the guests.
A collared submissive should not be approached to play under any circumstances. More often than not, this means that they are in attendance with their Owner. If a collared submissive approaches you, it is wise to ask if they are owned. They may just be wearing a collar in advance preparation for a scene they desire to occur with a Dominant they meet on premises.
Never use 
someone's property without asking permission first! Although an S&M event is a public gathering for like-minded individuals, that doesn't mean we all like to share. This applies to fetish toys & equipment (floggers, ropes, cuffs, paddles, blindfolds, etc.) as well as people (submissives, slaves, etc.). A powerful Dominant may be giving an OTK (over the knee) spanking to a lovely submissive at the fetish event you are attending. That does not give anyone the right to also spank this person once their scene is over. You must always ask permission. It also doesn't hurt to get to know someone before engaging in S&M play. Trust is something that is established over time. Be courteous as well. No means no, and if someone tells you no, there's no reason to be rude about it.
When attending a Fetish Event or S&M Play Party, it helps if you dress in play-appropriate attire. Jeans and sneakers are usually unacceptable. If you don't have fetish clothing (leather, rubber, latex, lace, PVC, vinyl, stilettos, thigh-highs, lingerie, corsets, theme attire: nurse/nun/school teacher), you can, at the very least, dress nicely and sexy in all black. But, I have to admit, the more fetish and S&M themed clothing being worn at an event, the better the energy in the room!
Many S&M parties that get extremely crowded realize the need for precious space to play. If there is a coat check available, always check your coat and bags. Sought after equipment, such as bondage racks, spanking benches, cages and St. Andrew's Crosses, are not coat racks and storage shelves. Keep your things close at hand so that guests may utilize all equipment to the fullest potential. If you are using equipment provided by the venue or event producers, kindly limit your use of the equipment to 30 minutes, so that other play partners may utilize the sought after equipment, too.
You might experience or witness, at an S&M event, many things you have never expected, and either you will deal with these thing well and learn, or you won't. Some examples are: a Dominant verbally humiliating his or her submissive, same sex play partners, or a submissive crying during a rough punishment scene. These things are normal at an S&M play party. If you become too disturbed by this, simply stop watching. There are things you're into that others may not be, and vice versa.
Most S&M clubs and private parties are composed of at least two spaces - one for socializing and another for play. Make a note of which is which when you enter the space and try to respect these boundaries. It is good to come into a play party with an open mind, too.
Discretion is very important in the BDSM community as well. If you become involved in this lifestyle, it is up to you to protect those involved as well. Many individuals that attend S&M events lead very "vanilla" lives. If you notice one of these people in the street outside of an S&M event, it is wise not to approach them until you know it is alright with the other person to discuss the scene with his/her friends and associates. Be discrete. Usually you will realize it if they make an effort not to be noticed, and it is your job to respect their privacy and confidentiality.
This may seem like a lot to swallow, and it's also on the serious side of my usual article method. I simply feel that anyone who decides to go play in public and join the S&M community needs to be aware of common etiquette. An S&M play party can be incredibly fun and exhilarating, and there is no need to be afraid about attending. Some things you can only learn through experience. Now that you have gone through the basics with me, it might be time for you to slip on the leather, dust off your ball gag, and hit the clubs with me! See you in the dungeon area, my sexxxy kinksters!
Infernally,
Lady Zombie
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Recent pieces by Lady Zombie:
Medieval Torture, Modern Day
Whip it Good: The Art of Flogging
Erotic Bondage: Why Knot?
