Living large seems to have taken on new meaning in the current economy. I was afraid it might just be me whose mass has increased. After all I was kicked out of Corporate America almost 6 months ago AND quit smoking cold turkey 3 months ago; I assumed getting FAT was simply the natural order of things.

I'm learning that's not the case. When I meet up with friends and former colleagues for drinks (must stay in circulation...) and appetizers (extra guacamole and cheese please...) the conversation invariably turns to how fat we've become. We all bitch and order another plate wings; in the old days the olives from our martinis would have been our only snacks.

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Politics are similar to playing Monopoly; someone always cheats, there will always be conflict of interests and lifelong grudges will be held. For these reasons, I do not address politics. Today however, I decided I would help encourage voters with my ridiculous reasoning on who makes the best presidential candidate for this medicated country.

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By the time you read this, most of us will have escaped your overbearing tendencies.

Not many decades ago, women often complained that men were not sensitive and considerate enough about their feelings. Words were tossed about with fierce emotions and demands of more compassion. The women’s rights movement motivated women out of the kitchen and to free our entrapped breasts. Today, women are liberated and some choose the kitchen or the office and others choose both. Many choose to entrap their breasts in nifty cleavage enhancing push up bras and those that lack the goods can slide into a water bra and create the illusion. We have come a long way and so have our razors but during all of these transformations what has happened to our men?

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*The following events take place July 4, 2007.

There was an unusual air about the fourth of July this year. None of my friends planned trips to Coney Island, no bands booked any shows and I had no idea what the guy I am dating was doing. I believed my day was a bust when I woke up at three P.M. to the rainy meaningless day.

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